Link to I’ll be Back (I Hope)

I’ve passed gas, I’ve passed out, I’ve passed my prime and just recently I’ve passed my sixtieth birthday.  It makes me shudder to think I’m that old and no longer an immortal young person.  At the age I am now I have started to think about the day when the lights will go out for me permanently.
It’s the heaven and hell thing that’s been bugging me.  To say the least my life has not been lived in an angelic way.  On the other hand, I believe I’ve not broken one or two of the Ten Commandments, so there might be a little bit of good in me.   From my personal point of view, I would guess that I’m not really worthy of a trip to heaven, but I do not deserve an eternity burning to a cinder in hell either.
My predicament has caused me to check through a goodly number of the worlds various religions for a way around the fine print of God’s laws that no one bothered to tell me about.  I just might have found a way to beat the rap.
Hinduism has beliefs that I think can live or die I with.   The one concerning reincarnation seems the best bet for me since it is a constant cycle of life and death until you live one life perfectly.  I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but a person’s spirit is meant to reach a higher plane of existence.
I believe I could be headed the other way.  I just may come back as a lower form of life.  If I have a choice in the matter I think I’ll come back as a cat.  Cats naturally know that they are the highest forms of life on the planet so becoming a cat might actually be a step in the right direction.  We, as humans, have forgotten much of our history.  Cats however, have forgotten none of theirs, especially the part about being worshiped as gods by the Egyptians and many other cultures.  Cats remember those heady days all too well.
Now I don’t want to come back as some mangy, flea bitten, underfed alley or barn cat, I want to come back as a house cat.  More specifically I want to come back as my wife Arlene’s house cat.  Of course I’ll have to wait until the furball we have now takes the deep six route, but I’m not in any hurry to go anywhere so he can still have a few more years.   However, I do want to set the stage for my own return.
I mean it makes sense for me to return to my own house doesn’t it?   I know where the cat box is and I know all the good places to sleep. When our grandkids, who can easily terrorize our present resident cat, show up for a visit, I will know where the darkest corners to hide are.
I know the neutering might be a little uncomfortable for a few days and the de-clawing business might hurt like hell, but those will be little things I’ll have to put up with.   I’m not really crazy about the catching the mouse thing either since I hate mice, but once I’m a cat, mouse catching will be a natural thing to do.
As a cat I’ll just have to look cute, snuggle and be a lovable pest.  For me that will be a real easy step since I won’t have to change my personality at all.
Think of the pluses for me to return as more or less my own cat.  Other than knowing the location of the ever-important cat box, I will no longer have to sift chunks out of the cat litter, but instead will be able to make deposits. I’ll be fed well, I’ll have fresh water every day and I’ll never have to go out in bad weather again.  I’ll get to lounge around in a sunny room, sleep all I want and just be a lazy cat.  Sounds like a great life to me.
The biggest plus though is that I’ll be able to rest in Arlene’s lap whenever she’ll let me.  What could be better than being with the person you love?   I know she’ll have to take me to the vet once a year so someone can poke and prod me, give me a shot or two and make me generally uptight and uncomfortable, but I’ll be able to live with that.  And if I get too upset I can always cough up a hairball or puke on the floor in retaliation.
On stormy or cold nights I’ll be able to snuggle next to Arlene, and I’ll be able to sleep next to her just as I do now.  As a cat I will purr for her to let her know in my cat language that I have never stopped loving her even though my body has changed.  I’ll be very happy as a cat.

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